CARBONARA (without the 'carb') PASTA, BITCHES!

Click to 'enlarge' :D

I'm so happy!  Being the displaced Mediterranean boy that I am I crave two things above all else; pasta and bread.  Disregard females, acquire carbs.  Giving them up in particular had been really hard (fnarr fnarr) and it wasn't until the end of my first Whole30 day stint that I was fighting a losing battle not to abuse the nearest buttered up doughnut or pitta bread (now that would be a WHOLE other website :P).

Imagine the scene; I'm scanning through all the 10 minute freeviews at midnight (guys, you know what I'm talking about) and stumble across some weird ass shopping channel selling a 'spiroli' or 'spirili' or something like that.  Veggie goes in, veggie comes out looking like pasta.

GTFO!  Are you fucking with me!?  How is this not automatically sent out to everyone that successfully completes a Whole 30?

Ordered..waited...missed the delivery...weekend...waiting..consider breaking into DHL a la Mission Impossible style...delay with designing the skin-tight catsuit...finally it comes and it's a glittering thing of lethal beauty.
They didn't really mention this on the shopping channel (I may have also been otherwise distracted...you only get ten minutes freeview people!) but the reason why its able to bitchslap all these veggies is because its blades are made from the razors of Satan.  10 minutes and four fingers later I finally figured it out and demolished a bag of courgettes.

Never fear!  You can always use a wide-gapped  grater or  veggie peeler to make this dish.  Experiment, build your own version in the garage, use lazers but for the love of all that is Holy watch your bloody fingers!

What I got you gotta get and put it in you...

• 3 medium eggs
• Two slices of bacon (or Pancetta if you're posh) sliced
• Three cloves of garlic (smushed)
• A handful of Parmesan cheese
• A larger handful of your favourite cheese
• One pornographic courgette *bam chika wawa
• Salt and pepper

I love it when a plan comes....together 

Stick a pan of slightly salted water on the boil while you spiroli or ninja slice your courgette.  Add a bit of butter in a frying pan before adding your bacon and smashed garlic.  Keep an eye on this and keep stirring until your bacon/pancetta is nice and crispy (remove the garlic after this).   

While all this is going on whisk the eggs, two cheeses and add a bit of pepper as well.  Stick your 'pasta' into the boiling water and cook it as normal (i.e. until al dente).
When the pasta is ready, drain it then add it to the pan with everything else.  Use pasta tongues or chopsticks and lift the pasta to mix in the sauce so it gets everywhere.

Season with a bit more pepper and cheese if you like and serve!  ENJOY! :D  *so happy *does the naked happy dance.

EDIT:  I'm back in student mode at uni this week (boo! hiss!) so it looks like I'm going to have to limit updating the blog to three (cough*four*cough) times a week while I battle falling asleep in class.
Hopefully this'll give you guys a bit more of a heads up when the site'll be updated instead of the usual 'oh-mah-god-it-tastes-so-good-must-tell-everyone-right-bloody-now' approach.  Any problems, drop us a lime :D (see what I did there?).