Bacon makes everything alright. Bacon heals the pain and touches me up in that way I like. It's never angry with me for getting a speeding ticket or judges me for all the angry masturbating I do. So much so that I've been put on a strict daily allowance of bacon...and that's possibly where there are packs of bacon stashed around the house/buried in the front garden/embedded under the bath.
I've decided to call my bacon jam, 'Man Jam' because it's all meaty and manly (where are you all sniggering?) and I like it a lot, probably because its so salty in my mouth (seriously whys everyone laughing?!)..and...er..it's the first thing I like to put in my mouth in the mornings (why...why are you all rolling around on the floor?).
Man Jam Making Ingredients
1 large pack of bacon (cut up into semi-medium pieces)
One tea spoon of cacao (or cocoa powder :D)
Half a tea spoon of cinnamon
Half a tea spoon of allspice
Juice of two lemons
3-4 garlic gloves (mashed)
1 quarter of a large onion (finely chopped)
2 tea spoons of chili powder or one whole red chili
one small cup of strong coffee
Fry the bacon in a large pan until the fat starts to render. It should still be floppy (fnarr fnarr) after a few minutes. Drain off the bacon fat and leave that aside before adding everything else. Stir it well and add back a few table spoons of bacon fat to lubricate (fnar) the whole mess. Cover and keep on a low heat for 2 hours. You have to keep checking on it though every 10-15 minutes so the bottom of your pan doesn't burn. The smell, oh Lordy, the smell is so damn good.
After two hours of frantic, sweary, scraps-of-paper, almost-launching-the-jam-jar-through-the-window label making, stick the bacon mush into a food processor and blitz the fucker until its the consistency you like. If it dries up too quickly don't worry - add another tea spoon of bacon fat to the mix.
DONE!. Now sit back and enjoy a table spoon of bacon jam smeared on....a....nice....slice....of....toast....oh. We're not allowed bread anymore are we?
FUCK.
This looks chuffin' good! More chilli for me, tho' ...
ReplyDeleteBread? We don't need no stinking bread - just stuff your fingers in the jar and troff it down! If you did fancy some bread, well, a little paleo bread is fine ...
1 cup of mixed linseed flour (hand blended linseed) and cassava root flour ... or potato starch, or rice flour (you know the issues with starch flour, but it's a treat).
2 tsp baking powder
1 large woodland chick egg
2-3 tbsp fat - bacon grease, lard, dripping, coconut oil ... anything SFA
Salt and pepper? Herbs?
Anyway, hand mix it all together and then pop into a dish to bake at 180C for about 30 minutes.
You will have a really seedy bread with a really firm texture. Get some of that Isigny butter from Jersey to spread over and a generous helping of "jam".
Like the Italians say, "Fantastico!" ... or as northerner's say, "not bad" :)
http://www.elanaspantry.com/paleo-bread/
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome.
I'm going to sex both of you. At the same time. Whilst covered in bacon jam.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.livestrong.com/recipes/jens-gone-paleo-breakfast/
ReplyDeleteBam! Best Paleo bread recipe I've encountered.
At the risk of adding more sexual innuendo to this blog post - here's what we served bacon jam with at our house. Bangers! Bacon jam smeared on sausage...how delicious is that!
ReplyDeletehttp://shecookshecleans.net/2011/02/16/bacon-bourbon-jam-with-bangers/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhtFKNNd04A
ReplyDelete*cold shower
ReplyDeleteJust about fell off my chair when I saw your Photo of MAN Jam - Genius
ReplyDeletemake it market it
Best Name Ever!
San Diego - CAlifornia
aww thanks! Hey my sister lives in your neck of the woods!
ReplyDeleteI made the jam yesterday... DELICIOUS!
ReplyDeleteThank you :-)
Love your blog and have mentioned you in my last post... (all 8 people who read mine might visit you... fair warning)
XO
Made a batch of this ambrosia and took it to a post Crossfit comp (Battle in the Switch) party. Needless to say it lasted all of 10mins and if all the ingredients had been available I think I might have been chained to the kitchen bench till I could make some more. The crew from Crossfit Western Front loved it and I directed them all to your site so they could learn to make it themselves. Cheers!
ReplyDeleteMade a batch of this ambrosia and took it to a post Crossfit comp (Battle in the Switch) party. Needless to say it lasted all of 10mins and if all the ingredients had been available I think I might have been chained to the kitchen bench till I could make some more. The crew from Crossfit Western Front loved it and I directed them all to your site so they could learn to make it themselves. Cheers!
ReplyDelete