Wednesday, 2 November 2011

Paleo Protein Meat loaf (aka I would do anything for Paleo...but I won't do that...well, actually...)

Let’s start as we mean to go on with one of the most pornographic things we’ve done this month;

Paleo Meatloaf.  Yes, as you can see not only does it look pornographic, it filled the house with the lovely smell of bacon, beef mince and onions while it was cooking (while I was possibly fapping watching it through the oven window).
Seriously, how fucking scary does it look.  Meatloaf is more of an American thing I guess but I recently saw either Delia or Nigella fondling one on the telly recently so I had to give it ago.


  • 800g of beef mince
  • 4 eggs (three hard boiled)
  • 3 small onions
  • 55g of butter
  • 4 table spoons of sexy-ass mustard
  • ¾ cup of almond meal or flour
  • Enough streaky bacon to cover the whole sexy bitch (go for smoked...go on....go on...)

Chop and fry of the onions in the butter until they’re soft and transluscent.  I fucking love the smell of onions cooking so the onion overdose you can see in the photos is totally my fault.  Stick your oven on at 200C and hard boil 3 of your four eggs.
When the onions are cooked wait for them to cool a little before adding them to the mince along with the fourth raw egg , almond flour and the mustard.  Now for the fun part; mushing it all up with your hands (don’t burn yourself on the onions btw!).

As you can see, at this point I’m elbows deep in mince and onions, so much so I look like I’m trying to deliver a calf.  Greg is very helpfully dancing around half naked with a pot on his head.  Photo evidence here:

Helping or hindering?
Ok.  After you’ve beaten Greg with a large pan take half your mixture and form a bed for your three eggs in a large roasting tin.  Add the rest of the mince and pat the fucker into some kinda meatloaf-y shape.  Remember when we were kids and your mam would make jelly in a rabbit mould?  How awesome would this look in that!!!?

Wrap with the bacon trying to tuck the ends of the bacon under the ‘loaf’ then add to the oven for 40mins. 
Enjoy that sexy bitch with whatever gravy you can make from the pan’s juices.