You know what's great about being Greek?
Everything. Being hung like a blue whale is awesome, especially when you do the helicopter trick and your feet actually lift off the floor. If you see me and it looks like I'm trying to kill invisible flies I'm actually just talking with my hands (or kung fu fighting...one of the two). An uncomfortable affinity to speedos or short shorts? Check. Religious iconography in the car? Wouldn't set off on a journey without it. Crossing myself before deadlifting? Yep, do that too...but the best thing about being Greek is the food.
It wasn't long ago I was sat in my mum's kitchen, learning all the new swear words and not eating church bread when I came to the realization that most of the food I grew up on, the food my mum makes with the same callused hands she slapped (some) sense into me, was pretty fucking paleo.
So here are some koftas (and yeah I know it's not strictly Greek but throw me a bone here, I'm a Mancunian Greek; I'll grow a dodgy moustach and mug you for your trainers).
Whatchou need baby...
- 1kg minced lamb
- A handful of mint
- A handful of coriander
- A tablespoon of cinnamon
- Four large nad-shaped bulbs of garlic
- Two teaspoons of ground cumin
Mush up all the ingredients and season with salt 'n pepper. Wet your hands then shape the meat into small balls. I could make the obvious balls joke here but I blew my load above with the garlic nads joke. So...yeah. Testicles.
After you've lovingly shaped the balls with your wet hands, stick them on a hot griddle pan, turn them once (or else they'll fall apart) and stick them on a skewer. It's meat! Onnastick!
(p.s. check back in a few days, got some big news to share with you sexy people)...


Gasp! It's a good thing your food sounds so good.. because the word-pictures you paint bring nightmares... speedos?...nnnnooooohhhhh!!!! Aaaarrrrggghhhh....
ReplyDeleteI am pretty much in love with you. Your recipes take me to a happy place, and your ability to describe things so vividly is just an added bonus. lol
ReplyDeleteI am pretty much in love with you. Your recipes take me to a happy place, and your ability to describe things... so vividly is just an added bonus. I can't wait to make this for my family!!
ReplyDeleteThis sounds AMAZING. We love Greek koftas! And the Greek restaurant that used to be 15-20 minutes up the highway closed a couple of years ago. He made the BEST koftas. I look forward to trying your recipe on for size next time we grill!
ReplyDeleteThe Simpson's reference is awesome!
ReplyDeleteYou all are so funny! Makes it even more fun to research Paleo recipes!
ReplyDeleteSo if I were to refer to a garlic "bulb," I'd mean the whole head of 12-15 cloves ranging in shape from crescent-like to roughly columnar. I'm guessing you didn't mean four of those. However, with that assumption comes the one that your nads are shaped like garlic cloves. Do I have the wrong garlic, or do I just need to sleep with more Greek men?
ReplyDeleteThe cloves :(
ReplyDeleteAlso sleep with more Greek men. (we need the practise!!!) :D
Hmm. So you're hung like a whale but you still need practice? That just sounds like a recipe for disaster. :P But I am totally gonna try and make this on like Saturday, just with ground beef first because I have 30lbs of it in my freezer.
ReplyDeleteSound delicious - kefte in any form is amazing. And you're not alone; this is what's hanging from my rear-view mirror right now: 3 crosses, all blessed by various priests, with one cross missing the attached Jesus, a beaded Greek flag, 2 different worry beads (komboloi), and two evil-eye bracelets. It's only a matter of time before the mirror detaches from all that weight.
ReplyDeleteYour balls are amazing, and the fact that they are on a stick just makes them genius. Once you go Greek...
ReplyDeleteWait for it... Wait for it... ??? Where'd you go? I've been checking back every few days for a while now hoping to read what your big news is... How's life accross the pond, got an update?
ReplyDeleteHope Greg is making a full recovery. Best wishes.
Another good recipe. Looking forward for some more. Please share some vegetarian ones
ReplyDelete